This document is written for mental health clinicians, relationship therapists, and advanced trainees who work with couples and want a clearer way to recognize stable personality patterns that shape relational dynamics. This framework is informed by DSM-5-TR personality disorder constructs and couples-therapy formulation principles, including Gottman Method Couples Therapy, attachment theory, and relational neuroscience. It is not a diagnostic manual and does not replace formal assessment. Its purpose is to support clinical formulation, relational understanding, and more precise intervention planning.
In couples work, I frequently encounter stable personality patterns that influence how partners handle closeness, conflict, and emotional regulation. These patterns are not always explicitly covered in depth during clinical training, which makes it especially useful to have a framework for recognizing when they may be present.
When these patterns go unrecognized, therapy can get stuck treating surface conflict without addressing the deeper structure that keeps recreating it. Recognizing the pattern shifts the work from managing symptoms to working with the structure that’s actually driving the relationship.
My hope is that this framework offers a clearer lens for understanding what is happening beneath the recurring dynamics couples bring into the room.
Read the full document: https://therapydave.com/personality-patterns-couples-therapy.pdf